Unearthing Jason Voorhees: Camp Letter From a Young Jason to his Mother

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The following letter was discovered by me, OWA Film Programmer/Tour & Transport Director Michael Thielvoldt, during my annual pilgrimage to the long-defunct Camp Crystal Lake. It appears to be a letter written by a young Jason Voorhees to his mother, Pamela Voorhees, while Jason was a camper at the now famed site of his infamous death, suspected return, and countless brutal murders in his name. The letter was wedged behind a desk in the camp’s old mailroom. It was written in crayon, found sealed, and may have been intentionally discarded or hidden behind the desk where it lay. I have taken minor steps to clarify the language in the way of corrective spelling edits and clarificatory punctuation as needed, but I have maintained the original sentence structure and language wherever possible. Areas of the letter that are unintelligible have been identified as such.

Ki (scratched out)
Hi Mommy,

It Jason. I at camp still. It fun but sometimes sad. Some of other kids make fun of me. Some of other kids hurt me. One day I will hurt them back like you tell. You wrong about counselors though. They not bad like you say. They help me. Other kids point at me. Other kids laugh. Counselors teach me trick. If I wear pillowcase on head, other kids can’t see me. Other kids can’t laugh at me. Counselors also make games for me. Today I play wood cut! I cut so much wood! All day I cut wood. Counselors let me use ax. I so good at ax but I like trail cut better. For trail cut counselors give me machete. I like machete better. I better at machete. But ax good too.

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Counselors good. Counselors let me do whatever I want as long as I not bother them. They spend all day in cabins. Bang around. Make funny animal noises. I wish they let me play with them. But it ok. I play with real animals instead. I play with camp cat yesterday. He was so noisy. Meow meow meow all time while we play. No meow by end though. Cat must been so tired by end. No noise at all. I think play with dog tomorrow. [...writing unintelligible...] I make all kinds animal friends.

Counselor show me shack in woods. He [...writing unintelligible...]  No one go there. I keep animal friends there to play with later. I has whole lot animal friends in shack. Squirrels. Rabbits. Possums. Raccoons. All animals! They love shack even though shack smells. Animal friends bring bug friends. We all have real fun time.

[...writing unintelligible...]

Sometimes when I not play cut games I sit on dock. Watch water. Water dark. Water cold. Counselors say I too stupid to go in water. Too stupid to learn to swim. This not true. I just not like water. Something wrong with water. But I no too stupid to learn to swim. I show them soon. I going to learn self to swim. Learn tonight when counselors in cabin. Show them. I go to lake now. Practice. Learn. Jason see you soon mommy. Miss mommy.