Kelsey Signed up for a Suicide Space Mission

Mission: Kelseios
Scenario Specialist: Founder and Artistic Director Bears Fonte
Scenario Code Name: Sador
Threat: Swept into Interplanetary Mercenary Mission

 Scenario Description:
Kelsey always had a good heart.  It is possible that in her travels to uncover the secret meaning of Science Fiction she came across a young man from a peaceful planet looking to protect his species from extinction. Knowing Kelsey’s weakness for a good underdog story, she more than likely enlisted her vessel and its crew into the battle as one of seven samurai gunslingers- I mean starships- to take on John Saxon with a Gorbachev splotch over his eye.

OWA has conducted extensive research for this particular scenario, having Sybil Danning on retainer since last year’s festival. She explained that her character St. Exmin in BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS sought more than adventure when she joined Shad’s team; she sought to prove herself. Kelsey has always been a thrill-seeker.  Her daily routine of running a parkour course across the rooftops of downtown Austin was quickly replace by illegal bare-knuckle boxing bouts in basements. Therefore, a minor interstellar scuffle between laser-armed warships hardly seems something that would appeal to our action hedonist.  This leaves us with the real possibility that Kelsey has signed on to the sure-death mercenary defense to prove herself.     

Plan of Action:
We have two potential plans of action if the above scenario proves correct. 1) We must find a way to turn the tide of the last stand so that Kelsey meets a better end than St. Exmin, Nestor, Cayman, Space Cowboy and all the other heroes who so bravely gave their life to protect a people so useless as the Akira (whose primary technology seems to be a fortress of solitude like organ that creates trenches with tone deaf chords).  2) We must convince Kelsey that she does not need to prove herself.

Option 1 is clearly the easiest.  We are arming the Kelseios II, our vessel that lifts off on Thursday, the day after our April 19th screening of TELEIOS at Flix Brewhouse, with all the military might humankind can muster.  Elon Musk, noted humanitarian and forward-thinker, has teamed up with Erik Prince, noted madman and Blackwater founder, to create an arsenal of ship-mounted cannonry sure to strike fear in the hearts of whatever nemesis Kelsey is facing.  By harnessing the negative energy supplied through social media on a daily basis, amplifying it through indignation-shares, and finally converting that outrage into a rage-laser, or ‘rager,’ the Kelseios will be able to blast our opponents with the sheer power of our own self-importance and exasperation. This top-secret process has the added side-effect of leaving America great again, by reducing the number of insensitive remarks and the inevitable reaction to them.  With this technology installed, as well as the clone crew provided by Kaminoan cloners under the supervision of TELEIOS director Ian Truitner, we should be able to end any threat from opposing forces through complete annihilation and bring Kelsey safely home.

Option 2 presents more of a challenge. Why would Kelsey need to prove herself?  She was making feature films when she was in high school (this is true, I programmed one at Austin Film Festival). So it may possibly be that Kelsey suffers from some deep, dark, ‘Batman-like’ secret, like her parents were brutally murdered in front of her at a young age, or possibly killed after refusing to throw a boxing match (aka the ‘Daredevil effect') or possibly killed by their planet crumbling around them, a son-of-Jor-El incident.  If this is true, it is also obviously true that Kelsey has some sort of untapped superpower that we just have to get her to tap into and then, instead of some sort of death wish, she’ll be overcome with the need to save mankind, specifically the festival, and return to us. [note: if it is in fact the Daredevil effect she may still be suffering from a death wish; she might also be charming enough to marry Jennifer Garner.]

Will this work? What really happened to Kelsey and her crew? Come to Other Worlds Austin's screening of TELEIOS on April 19th to help raise funds for our rescue mission, due to launch the next morning. We've prepared for the worst, but hope for the best. 

Buy tickets HERE!