10 Ways to Make the Most of the College Experience of the Future

Inspired by the Texas premiere of the crazy, college, dystopian film ROCK STEADY ROW (Flix Brewhouse - Wed, July 25 - 7:30pm), the Other Worlds staff has put together some predictions of the College Experience of the Future.

ROCK STEADY ROW centers around a young college freshman who, after his bike is stolen, lands on a college campus and is compelled to take action against the reigning fraternities and ultimately the dean. Writer Bomani Story will be in attendance and will do a Q&A after the screening.

Get more info here.

Get your tickets here.

In the meantime, check out this Top 10 List for College Students in the Future:


10 Ways to Make the Most of Your College Experience

We all know college isn't what it used to be. We've heard stories from our grandparents and maybe even our great-grandparents in cyber freeze. We've seen the old classics like Animal House, Old School, and The Skulls. But even in 2057 you too can have a college experience filled with the trappings of what the 20th century called essential extra-curricular education.

1. Select a major! Although the days of indecisive and useless liberal arts education are long gone, every student has the right to pick the focus of how they will spend the next four years. Most great colleges offer anywhere between 10 to 12 majors for freshmen to study up on before arriving so you can make your selection in that first week. Not interested in Mandarin? Try video game development. Marketing and PR usually offer both corporate and governmental tracks. Want a surefire job for the rest of your life? Try Parenting and you too can raise children for others lucky enough to receive their license. Food Service is often an enjoyable way to learn both chemistry and human anatomy as the students of today make the most of what still grows on our Earth. Finally, Influential Studies has been the path to start path to stardom for many social media personalities.

2. Live in the dorms! Okay so dorms as they are portrayed in the old movies don't exist anymore, but most colleges are conveniently located close to low citizenship score tenements where you can meet plenty of interesting characters and be distracted by society’s undesirables

Old School.jpg

3. Join a club! The NRA is certain to have a local chapter embedded at your college. This can be a great way to meet singles. Most major Judeo-Christian religions will have Bible study groups which often offer the occasional cookie or lemonade sweetened with real sugar. Although LGBTQ groups have all but disappeared, if sexual experimenting is your passion, consider joining an anti-LGBTQ hate group, as they are often filled with repressed and closeted outliers. Another place to tryout with same-sex activity is in a fraternity or a sorority, which often have the added bonus of light BDSM.

4. Study abroad! Who needs dull, romantic old-world ornamentality, like Paris and Venice, closed to us since the Pence Accords, when we have an open Exchange program with Turkey, the Philippines, and the Dominion of the Unified Korea. Students leveraging 15% of future earnings may apply for a Chinese residency under their Economic Development Training Program. There you might even meet someone from California or the North Eastern States of America who have a free Transit program ever since they paid off their national debt. The open conjugal behavior seen in films like Animal House appears to be alive and well in these countries and the students you meet even speak our language. Be aware all relationships will have to be declared upon your reentry.

5. Take part in a class discussion! The big advantage of going to a physical College as opposed to a digital one is the face-to-face interaction you can have with your fellow students. Higher level courses offer robust debate between professors and students. It's always more fun to scan the room to see who just texted that before you do your own trolling via your phone.

6. Support the school team! The one part of college that seems identical to the world 50 years ago is the full-scale support of football. And with the improvements in padding and helmets, players can hit each other harder than ever before with little to no effect while they are on campus. Teams are arguably better than they have ever been considering scholarship students no longer have to pretend to attend classes and can focus on weight training and drills 14 hours a day. After the always inspiring national anthem, where the uniformity of an entire team standing—hands on hearts— prepares them to sacrifice their bodies for our amusement, the game features several delights like giant video scoreboards reminding us of the latest state-sponsored news, fresh off the grill rat burgers, and cheerleaders of both genders showcasing their marriage potential in the most provocative costumes you can see in public.

The Skulls.jpg

7. Find your mentor! Professors are more than just educators, they are the front line in the continuing war against fake news and misinformation. These are people who have been given the unique task of preparing the next generation of good citizens. Through the beloved Clear Recognition Of Nationalist Youth (C.R.O.N.Y.) system they are able to secure you a +5 modifier to your score which can raise your chances for approved relocation or even breeding licenses. Just as in the old days, professors often have really fantastic access to narcotics, and will trade mentorship for sexual relations.

8. Work a campus job! I mean technically you have to, so I might as well put this in. Although this requirement can be fulfilled by slaving your computer to mine TrumpCoin, consider working a post that will actually allow you physical proximity to other people. Today's coworkers are tomorrow's crowdfunders. Most startups require actual capital now and the easiest way to get that is to ask everyone you know for it. If you know what you plan to launch upon your dropout, consider carrying copies of your non-disclosure agreement for any potential conversations you have. College is the number one location for intellectual property theft, so weigh your choices.  Another option is to consider buying IP Protection Service from the Chinese government for 15% of future earnings.

9. Get high! (a lot)! Everyone knows the college campuses are the number one places that pharmaceutical companies recruit members for product development research. If you sign up for as many of these as possible, not only can you earn a little extra TrumpCoin, but you can also match and mix samples for effects that are often as good as Californians have with their legal drug trade. Also, as mentioned before, professors have the best narcotics. Many of them have access to chemistry labs and can synthesize their own highs or are connected enough in the high citizenship score circles that they are able to acquire drugs directly from the Californian city of Denver.

10. Make lifelong friends! Rest safe in the knowledge that most of the people you meet already have high enough citizenship scores that it is unlikely they will be offered mandatory military service along the always treacherous Southern Wall. These will be your fellow party members, future investors, potential living and sexual mates, and most importantly, reciprocal citizenship score modifiers. Any friend who raises your average Influence Network Score (INS) is one you want to make a lifelong friend. Steer clear of the exchange students, because today's ally can easily become tomorrow's NATO. And that will drop your citizenship score through the floorboards

Remember, the good old days weren't really all that good, I mean how could they be considering the depravity and openness of the society. That said, college can still be a place for life changing experiences, and worth your parents sacrifice of your younger brother or sister to the Southern Wall.